Innocence
by Shamera
Summary: One of the GWing characters is thinking about how the term innocence can relate with the Gundam pilots.


Disclaimers: Gundam Wing does not belong to me... ^^;; I've been writing that  
phrase a lot lately, haven't I? Oh well. I'm just their babysitter. ^_^   
Unpaid, might I add!!  
  
No warnings whatsoever. Except- WEIRD.  
C&C always welcome!!! Was this good? Bad? A total waste of your time? Heck,   
even flames are welcome at this point!! ^_^ Not that anyone has anything to   
flame about in this story....  
  
  
Innocence  
by: Shamera  
  
Looking at them now, most people would hardly say that those boys are   
innocent. Maybe because of the haunted look in their eyes, eyes that are far   
too old to be fifteen. Perhaps it's the posture that they hold- like they   
carry the world on their shoulders. In some ways, they do.   
  
If you asked each one of them, they would say that their hands are   
forever stained with blood. They would say there is no innocence left in them   
at all, and that perhaps they had never been innocent.   
  
I disagree. Everyone was born innocent, and those boys even more so.   
Just the thought that they had refused the fame and fortune after the war   
was finally over is one small example. They still don't think that they   
deserve more than an average person- they think they deserve less. That some-  
how because of the casualties that were a result of them winning the war,   
they were damned to eternal fires.   
  
But innocence is only the way you look at it. What is innocence? Who is  
innocent? How do we define the word 'innocent'? When people say they have   
lost their innocence, what would they mean?  
  
There is no way that we can truly say a person is not innocent anymore.   
The world is a large one, and includes lessons in cruelty and harshness. Just   
because you have passed more tests than you should does not mean that you have  
lost your innocence. The boys think that because they have killed, because   
they have not shed tears for those dead- that they are not innocent.   
  
Heero would say that a Perfect Soldier is not innocent. He would have a   
haunted look in his eyes while he says that.   
  
Duo would stare at you and then laugh bitterly, stating that he had lost  
his innocence long ago. Shinigami does not 'do' innocence.   
  
Trowa... Trowa would not say a word, maybe looking away from you if you   
inquire about it. Then he would try and keep away from you, like an orphan who   
is afraid to be asked how their parents died.   
  
And Quatre, the one whom everyone insists is innocent, would smile   
sweetly at you and start naming the entire list of people who died during the   
Gundam attacks. There would be no emotion in his voice, in his tone and   
posture.   
  
Wufei, as I know my partner well enough, would murmur quietly about how   
justice demanded a sacrafice for the war. It just so happened that he had   
sacraficed his innocence.   
  
They don't believe me when I say that it wasn't their fault. Perhaps   
they shouldn't believe me. I can't deny that a part of the war was caused by   
the Gundams- and that the general public would always view the pilots of such   
deadly machines as terrorists as well as heros. They saved peace... but at a   
price that only the bravest could pay. And they were brave.   
  
Innocence is something that exists in everyone. You can have gone   
through hell and back and still be innocent in some ways. There are many   
trials in life where you loose a part of your innocence at a time, where each   
blow reality deals you will break off another piece of your soul and shatter   
your self-image again and again.   
  
Yet I believe that the more you have to deal with, the more innocent   
you are. People can sense it. They are in some ways empathic to everyone else.  
When one cries over a story they read that the main character has to go   
through a heart-breaking tragedy, they are sympathizing for the ficticious   
person. When it is described that sadness can pentrate a room, it is true. I   
have seen it at work. How a room full of laughing, happy people can be   
silenced when certain people walk in.   
  
Humans can feel one another, whether they believe it or not. And it is   
on that theory of mine that I know the five boys will forever be together.   
If not because their minds are alike, then because they are the only people   
who can understand themselves. The only ones who can truly *see*.  
  
Those sad boys are infinately innocent in my eyes. They will forever   
be mothered and viewed as different by society, and they will forever walk   
that lonely path they have chosen to take. But I am glad that they have chosen  
to walk that path hand in hand... making sure none of them will fall.   
  
Innocence is something that cannot be taken for granted. The world will   
not view the pilots as the monsters they see themselves to be- but as children   
who were forced to fight because of their destiny. And as those children   
survived the war and lived on to mourn what they have done- that is innocence  
to the rest of the world. Everyone will see how sad the tale is, and cry over   
it. Because the boys it happened to didn't cry, tears will be shed for them.   
And yet they still don't understand the way the world sees them.   
  
Innocence, in my eyes, is someone who has survived all that life throws  
them. It is a person who continues on their journey, undeterred by the pains   
that they face. It is when an assassin finally sees the mistake he made, and   
tries to atone for it. It is the beauty both touched and untouched by the   
human hand. Innocence is a child who sees the world only in one shade.  
  
Innocence is the Gundam pilots.   
  
Their innocence is the haunted look in their eyes, the mouth that tries  
constantly to destroy their own ego, and the weight of the world on their   
shoulders. It is in their mannerism, the way they smile, and the way they   
frown. Their innocence is in the moments when the walls are finally down, and   
you can just see the child that never had a chance to grow in their eyes.   
  
Yes, the pilots do represent death and destruction. They will be   
recorded in history as harbringers who had fought to win peace. As killers who  
had good intentions, but killed thousands or millions to achieve it.   
  
But people will know. One does not need to write down that those boys   
are innocent for others to figure it out. Just looking at what they did, all   
the destruction that they caused- you will see a killer.   
  
Looking at the actual person, you will see a scared and uncertain child.   
  
But from what I gathered after working with those pilots during the war,  
my image of them is different. I see human beings that have been treated   
horribly by life. I see boys who condemn themselves to inner torture. I see   
men who went toe to toe with the devil himself and came back kicking.   
  
I see them.   
  
Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton, Quatre Winner and Wufei Chang.   
  
I see my friends.   
  
And I.... I can see their innocence.   
  
  
  
Owari.   
  
If you haven't figured it out by now, it's Sally talking here. I would never   
make a OC to write this! Damn... I swear my muses are in a coma. ^^;; One   
does not stop writing in the middle of five stories!! *tries to trottle   
muses with little success* 


End file.
